at/q

-Creepy quote: "I am your neighbor; I can see you / I have these blinds that I peek through" (Neighbour, Mother Mother)-

As often happens, I had a succession of really strange dreams packed into one night this week. First, I was driving a walk-in closet around the bedroom. Yes, a walk-in closet. Then I had another dream where I was a gymnast (in case you're wondering: never gonna happen) doing an exhibition over a vat of lava. Being genre-saavy, I realized that since my team was the underdog, I was going to win spectacularly, so I added steps to my routine. The other team cheated anyway, they had this yellow paint on their costumes that was massively heat resistant -- one or two of them touched down on the lava without taking any damage. The medals for the event were made of painted wood and shaped like very large M&Ms.

At the risk of writing a downer post, I have decided (as of yesterday) that it is impossible to say that I have had a terrible day unless (1) someone dies or (2) the washing machine breaks mid-cycle, leaving me with a sopping mass of clothes and bedding which must now be hauled upstairs and washed in the bathtub, wrung out by hand, and run through two and a half dryer cycles to compensate for the fact that hand-wringing is nowhere near as effective as modern technology. Also, getting to bed 6 hours past my usual time because the bedding was taking so long to dry, finally stopping at the stage where the bedding is mostly dry but with a patch of dampness in the center.

I am fairly certain that someday I will avert nuclear holocaust by standing near the path of the bomb. When it gets within a certain distance of me and my Rays of Worldbreaking, the trigger mechanism will suddenly fail and the earth will be saved.

I'm sure I will then look back on these days with fondness. But for now, mysteriously damaging everything within a 2-foot radius of me (without even touching it, often) does get annoying.

Reality check. Fingers apparently count too.