I had a dream I was working on a very old beige computer that could only play pinball. But it was coded in BASIC, so that was pretty cool (yay for the sole computer language in which I am literate!!!) and also that I went to Mexico. Which makes sense, since I know a group of people that just came back from there in real life (they were building houses for the people there).
After much thought, I have determined that the only food that is not utterly disgusting to eat is celery. Let me take a moment to explain myself. I don't mean flavor-wise; I'm talking about when you actually stop to think about what you're really eating...
- Meat. Ok, this is pretty much brought up by every vegetarian/vegan on the planet, so I don't think I need to rehash the whole "Oooo yuck, it's MUSCLE!!! From a smelly cow/chicken/PIG!!!"
- Also milk. You know, the secretions of a cow's... This becomes glaringly obvious especially when the fluid gets warm, and you begin to catch the more fleshy undertones of the flavor.
- I won't even get into what eggs correspond to.
- Aha, but here's one for the vegans! What about fruit? Hearken back to those days of yore in high school biology, and perhaps you may recall a certain fact about fruits. Namely, they develop from a plant's... ovaries.
- And of course, beans and nuts contain tiny plant embryos. THAT WILL NEVER BE BORN, MWA HA HA!!!!!!
- Okay, so how about vegetables? Well, this takes a little more thought, but aren't leaves essentially a plant's lungs?
- Fungi, meanwhile, are ripe targets. First of all, they usually grow in rotting stuff. Secondly, hate to break this to you, but the club part that we eat is actually the fungus's reproductive organ.
In short, about the only thing left is stalk plants, such as celery. Or rhubarb, but that has the inconvenient disadvantage of tasting absolutely awful. And I suppose the only thing left to drink is water (since most other beverages come from leaves or beans somewhere down the line).
Reality check. On the other hand, we all know that water is recycled...
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As much as I love fungus (eat mushrooms/love damp deay), I honestly did not know that I was eating their reproductive bits... Well yes, of course I did, but you have just phrased it in such a way that gave me umm... food for thaught?
ReplyDeleteNaughty, naughty!
Oh, and your choice for "quote" of the day leaves little to be desired. Do your fingers bleed from all that scraping on oakwood? :)
At least the actual... interfungal contact goes on underground, in the part we don't eat. The mushroom head merely produces the babies (apparently fungal organs are more specialized than ours in that respect).
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