sf

-Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus quote: "Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world."-

Coolest dream this week was the one in which I was in an apocalyptic wasteland riddled with dripping blue goo and vicious rats. No matter that the hallway full of bunkers looked suspiciously like the hall in my childhood home (but with more dripping goo), and in fact the princess leading the resistance (yes, I know, it's always a resistance in my dreams) lived in the bunker that lined up to exactly where my little brother's bedroom was located. My bunker was lined up exactly to the hall bathroom, and the really funny bit was that the shower and toilet were still there; however, the floor could be pulled up to reveal two tiny devices that enabled everyone in the resistance to have running water and electricity. They appeared to be just little clockwork machines with dozens of brass gears, but apparently anyone could grab them through their bunkers' floors and tune them up if they needed repair. So that was pretty awesome and futuristic. Also, partway through the dream I became a dwarf (not in the storyline, but just because these things happen in dreams) and helped the princess get a couple swords she needed. Or I would have if the dream had continued.

A Haiku Concerning My Current Favorite Food

Green meat in fruit form

A cream-cold flesh for summer

An avocado

Reality check. Busy, busy, busy.

q/ q q/

-The Amber Spyglass quote: "Maybe sometimes we don't do the right thing because the wrong thing looks more dangerous, and we don't want to look scared, so we go and do the wrong thing just because it's dangerous. We're more concerned with not looking scared than judging right."-

Polyamory appears to be an odd recurring theme in my dreams. The real kicker is that at least one person in the "dream" relationship is always someone I would never give the time of day (not always the same person) in real life. Very weird.

This week I had another moment where I felt like the only adult that no longer believes in Santa Claus. As Stefan Molyneux puts it,

...the asylum that the child is now facing is that he lives in a world of insanity, and either he is sane but those around him are telling him or pretending to him that he is insane – which means that the asylum is composed of those around him – or, the asylum is actually that everyone else around him is sane, and that he’s the only member of this asylum.

Reality check.

d jft

-Miss Manners quote: "You ask mosquitoes for permission before swatting them? And here Miss Manners thought she was considerate of others. However, your killing technique may need some refining."-

When there's a mistake that you make in real life that you also mess up in dreams, you know you have a problem. My problem? Accidentally filling in my birthdate with a "2xxx" year instead of the correct "1xxx" year (which would make me not even born yet, so at least people can figure it out pretty well). The really funny part was that I made that mistake in a dream the night leading up to when I had to fill out that particular form in real life, and proceeded to make the same mistake on the real-life form. So much for dreams being learning experiences.

Reality check. Are you incompetent? Yes? Then it's either a dream or real life.

d

-XKCD quote: "Because the future is an adventure! Come on!"-

No memorable dreams this week, mostly due to sleep deprivation.

I did have a somewhat dreamlike morning, however. I am getting ready to take a shower, when I hear a sound from the neighbor's house - sort of a rhythmic, grinding whoosh sound. Now, I would later discover that this sound was coming from his push reel lawnmower, but at the time it sounded uncannily like a

(image from Wikipedia)

materializing.

Reality check. I have a strong desire to get a manual push mower just for this reason.

nmqtnmqt q q fqa

-Latin quote: "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?"-

Ah, dreams. Ah, dreams, and their capacity to induce one to have casual conversations with people who are perched on dumpsters.

Let's see, what did I do this week that was interesting..? Oh yeah, I went to see the plastinated cadavers at the Body Worlds exhibit. I think the best part of the setup they have is that they pose the cadavers in all sorts of athletic positions, like balancing on balls or dancing. Also, they have a bunch of water tanks with delicate vein patterns suspended in them, like the full vein pattern of a human foot. Oh and they have a progression of human fetuses suspended in water (which, they hasten to tell visitors, are from old collections before people started worrying about how ethical plastinating fetuses would be).

Of course, I also got a chance to wander around the Denver museum, which was interesting in itself because I've tended to visit space or experimentally-oriented museums, whereas the DMNS has a more animals and biology bent. I was kind of surprised to realize I haven't been to many museums with a dinosaur skeleton collection, for example.

Reality check. Although it should be said that no matter what the theme of a museum, the gift shop always has the same stuff.

nmt7 nmt7

-Reddit quote: "mashes ctrl-f in disbelief"-

I had a strange partial dream a few nights ago wherein people who woke up at different times had different accents. Wait, what?

A family member introduced me to this site recently, and since I have no idea what to make of it, I present it to you, my readers, in bewilderment. Perhaps you can figure out what makes it so special?

Reality check. Also, watch The Fifth Element.

a7t at7t

-Context, context, context quote: "I like the ending, but it takes so long to get there." (commenting on the song Point of No Return from Phantom of the Opera)-

I didn't have any particularly interesting dreams this week, although I did have a sort of creepy dreamlike experience. One of the other tenants in the house I'm renting woke up in the middle of the night and had some kind of seizure or something, causing them to suddenly start talking (shouting?) loudly and repetitively. It was one of those situations where it's really obvious that the speaking is involuntary, and equally obvious that it is not normal sleeptalking. Sleeptalking runs in my family, so I know what it's supposed to sound like. Anyway, it was so weird and I was so half-asleep that in the morning I wasn't even sure it really happened. It wasn't until I heard that the tenant in question visited the hospital that day that I realized it had been real.

Well, actually on some level I knew that it had been real because it had a different texture (if that word makes sense here) than my usual dreams. In other words, it was dreamlike in the sense that it was like a dream, but not dreamlike if you stipulate that it was like one of my dreams. That caused me a lot of subconscious confusion when I was trying to figure out how to categorize it... much like, as I talked about last week, the confusion I get when I try to resolve a full mental map with the arbitrary "forward vectors" I assign to locations. The general dreamlikeness asked for it to be put in the "dream" bin, but the lack of likeness to my specific dreams said otherwise.

Interestingly (but not surprisingly, I guess), the part of my brain that was arguing for the "dream" category was the cut-and-dry, rational, verbal bit, whereas my intuition was nagging at me for the alternate interpretation. As usual, the global-thinking, holistic part of my brain was right.

Reality check. I really need to learn to trust my intuition more.

mq mq

-Enigma quote: "I love you. I'll kill you. But I love you forever."-

Had a dream with boring content but an interesting (recurrent) feature. The locations all had a specific orientation; i.e. there was an objective "front" side to every room and area.

The strange thing is that I don't think the "front" directions actually lined up in the dream. It seems like I left one building in a certain direction, and then when next I got a strong sense of directional orientation from an area, it conflicted with the direction that was "forward" originally. I didn't notice this in the dream, but I did afterwards when I was trying to map out the landscape. The "forwardness" turns out to be the strongest motivation for how I mentally map an area, but it's not the only consideration, so I tend to have moments of confusion when trying to reconcile how the areas with conflicting definitions of "front" connect to each other.

Come to think of it, this is really enlightening. I think it explains why I tend to get lost over and over again when I have to navigate new (or even partially familiar) buildings, even with a map. I mentally create a "forward" vector at certain locations in the building, but it often has nothing to do with how the vectored locations line up. However, my brain assigns more weight to the forward tag than to the connections between locations, jumbling my understanding of how the building is really laid out, and confusing me when I go down a staircase and exit from a different wall of the building than I anticipated.

Staircases are ripe for mis-labeling because they tend to double back on themselves or rotate at landings, sometimes multiple times. Also, they are often sparsely windowed and walled off from the rest of the building, isolating stair-walkers from outside reference points. Thus, it is frequently the case that the first floor and second floor of a building will have conflicting forward vectors in my mind, causing disorientation whenever I cross from one to another by a different staircase than the one that prompted the incorrect mapping.

Reality check. Now the real trick is seeing if I have a better sense of direction once I isolate and eradicate the tagging habit.

jf7t jf7t jf7t

-CAKE quote: "I have a heart that's made of wood."-

I may have had interesting dreams this week, but my lack of sleep (my own fault, got myself into a Buffy marathon, and Buffy seasons have a habit of being 20 episodes or more) prevented me from remembering all but a few snatches. Actually, my lack of sleep is probably partially the fault of the weather, because it's gotten to the really nasty, sticky part of summer. You know, the part that's not really that hot, but your body hasn't adjusted to not-spring yet, so it's unbearable? That's the part it's on right now.

For reasons that will shortly be obvious, I've been unusually receptive to music this week. Since that's been the... second-most... interesting feature of this week, I figured I'd share some of the songs that got added to my "background music for work" playlist recently.

CAKE

Satan Is My Motor

Hem of Your Garment

Love You Madly

Wheels

Enigma

Push the Limits

TNT for the Brain

Boum Boum

Reality check. Three guesses on what the most interesting feature of the week was, and the second and third guesses don't count. *dopey grin*

7tan7

-Stew quote: "2 lb beef, 1 in chunked"-

I had a dream this morning that bled into real life... was trying to say something in the dream but it kept coming out garbled. I kept trying and trying. Finally, I whispered the sentence (I have no idea why it occurred to me to whisper, it wasn't a sentence like "I love you" or "will you marry me?" or anything of that nature) only to discover that I was lying in bed -- as I was now waking up -- and saying it out loud. It was still a really hard sentence to get out, but that was probably because of the sleep paralysis.

In yet more plant news, I noticed yesterday that Odin, my newest African violet, is budding. This is exciting because he hasn't gotten much sunlight over the year and he hasn't gotten any fertilizer. Admittedly, since I got him less than a year ago, the soil probably has slow-release stuff in it from the nursery (it's easier to hit all the plants with a hose, knowing that the soil has fertilizer capsules, than to try to portion out liquid fertilizer for each and every single one), but I'm still a bit surprised.

From my previous experience with African violet colors (namely, they're never the same as the first bloom), I might try the vinegar trick this time. Personally, I'm a much bigger fan of the redder flower colors, so when hard water makes them go all blue, it's disappointing.

Besides, it just wouldn't produce the same cognitive dissonance if Odin had purple flowers instead of flouncy pink ones.

Reality check. Barely relevant TVtropes trap.

n7 n7 f

- Reddit quote: "But how could anyone who wears diamond-studded glasses possibly be ridiculous?"-

I had at least two dreams about eating this week. One of them had this enormous (10+ lb.) steak... thing, and the other had homemade mystery cookies. Both of these food items were freakishly delicious. Taste is definitely my most reliably pleasurable sensation in dreams. Maybe I should make eating my lucid-dream goal.

Exciting news of the day: the dandelion field is back! Well, sort of. It's not currently back because they went through and weed-whacked it just the other day, but dandelions aren't very good at staying dead.

In related exciting news, I finally figured out the identity of my favorite weed of all time, which is Geranium robertianum. The pictures in the Wikipedia article really don't do it justice; the tightly intricate, red-stemmed leaves; the hint of peach fuzz all over; the thin spikes that shoot out from the flower buds; the way the pink flowers precisely complement the leaves in color. Another thing the pictures don't convey is the scale of this thing -- herb robert is tiny.

I think part of the reason I like it so much is because it reminds me of when I was "that kid", the one who spends all lunch break staring at the weeds. I find it unbelievable that people miss things like this. So busy "socializing" -- talking to boring people about nothing important -- when mere feet away from their conversation is something so stunning.

Reality check. And yet, it is the extroverts who are thought to be living life to the fullest.

fnmtfs7

- TheraminTrees quote: "What humans happen to find plausible or implausible doesn't define reality."-

I had a dream where someone was following me around, and I wasn't too fond of this development. Therefore, I made a frog out of what appeared to be green and yellow puff paint (that stuff you use to write on t-shirts) and stuck the guy in the frog. How? Magic. Pure dream magic.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Firefly marathon to consume.

Reality check. "Mine is an evil laugh...now die!"

at q

-Thanatist quote: "For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; they have no further reward, and even the memory of them is forgotten. Their love, their hate and their jealousy have long since vanished; never again will they have a part in anything that happens under the sun."-

The most interesting dream this week was the one where my younger brother joined the SCA. Yeah, slow news week.

A Happy Haiku

You are purposeless.

Don't be depressed, though. The earth

will not lay you off.

Reality check. The above poem comes out of a discussion I've had with multiple people about how insane it is that people find a lack of overarching meaning or purpose to life depressing. My crackpot theory that people confuse reality with a huge corporation that is noticing your unproductive drain on resources (um... how do you remove resources from reality?) and is about to do some restructuring.

nmqtnmqt

- Wikipedia quote: "In psychology and logic, rationalization (or making excuses) is the process of constructing a logical justification for a belief, decision, action or lack thereof that was originally arrived at through a different mental process."-

A great deal of blanks, dreamwise, this week. The only dream I remember with any specificity at all is the one where I contemplated thanatism and stuffed aloe vera in my mouth. The aloe vera bit kind of woke me up... for the first few disorienting seconds I was trying to figure out whether I needed to spit it out. Fortunately for the carpet, I worked out that it had been a dream before my spitting abilities woke up.

If you'll forgive my self-indulgence for this post, I feel the need to gripe. Specifically, this post will be the continuation of the one from two or three weeks ago where I talked about coming out as an atheist.

First off, I'm going to add a bit of explanation here, because I know I have readers in other areas. In the US, especially in places like Colorado (where I live), being an atheist is a big deal. I know in other countries religion isn't discussed openly very much, but here it plays a large role in both the cultural and political scene.

I've already had discussions with friends in other regions, and they invariably get confused as to why this matter is looming so large, so just as a clarification: in my area, "personal beliefs" matter.

Remember that the following rant is coming from that kind of incubation.

I'm starting to understand, now, why atheists/humanists/brights/whatever you want to call them become activists. I didn't get it when I was a Christian, but now that I can put myself in their shoes without being trapped by the framework of my own beliefs, I see it.

Atheists can oppose religion for a number of reasons, but for me it's the fear. When I was young, constant thoughts of Hell and of why I couldn't "feel God" the way the grownups did terrorized me. I would lie in bed wondering if this night, by some health fluke, I would die, and I wouldn't be ready.

As I got older, the fear was slowly pushed to the back burner. People explained that the reason they were so sure of their faith was because of certain verses of the Bible that guaranteed salvation to those who asked. Also, by some weird emperor's-new-clothes mechanism, I started "feeling God". I guess people talked about it so much that my brain was finally able to make it up. But I think, even then, I suspected it wasn't real.

Christians say that Jesus is all about love. They say that accepting Jesus is a matter of seeing his love and responding in the only rational way. But there's a disconnect there. At least in the churches I went to (primarily Baptist, but I'm fairly certain this is a common thread in evangelical traditions), the altar calls and the explanations of the gospel were always tinted with that undercurrent of fear. Yeah, they repackage it up as "I realized how much Jesus loved me and I couldn't refuse," but I think the fear of Hell plays a larger role than most people are willing to admit.

This kind of psychological manipulation was what woke me up to start questioning seriously (hint: when Christians say they "questioned God," it usually means that they kept asking questions until they found enough questions with answers that confirmed their beliefs). If so much stress was put on the emotional aspect, attracting people to Christ through community and love and that undercurrent of fear, then the fact that Christianity had so many dedicated followers didn't mean much. Of course Christianity has a ton of followers, because it's really good at pulling people's strings, appealing to their emotions rather than their brains. Don't believe me? Look at any tract or witnessing aid. It doesn't bother trying to address whether God or Jesus exist, it simply assumes that they do and reminds people of what their reaction to this should be if they don't want to go to Hell.

In America, assuming that people believe in God/Jesus is a reasonable assumption. This causes problems, though, when Christians try to talk to genuine atheists. Given Romans 1:18-23, Christians are convinced that everyone is aware of God in their hearts, that the existence of God is obvious given the natural world. Thus, they (and this was me, a month or so ago) think that atheists really do believe in God, they're just hiding that belief away so that they have a license to "live for themselves" rather than for God.

Hence, when I mention that I'm an atheist, I get comments like "God still loves you" and "if you read the Bible, God will reveal Himself to you" (as if I'm merely in a "rough spot" in my faith and would like to increase my conviction that God exists -- also, incidentally, it was partially because I read the Bible so much that I realized how implausible it all was). There's a mental block there that absolutely refuses to accept that I think that God is a fairytale.

I probably should add here, as I always do, that the Christian community isn't doing the manipulation thing on purpose. It's something that got stickier and stickier over time (sticky ideas spread better, you see) until, almost with a spirit of its own, it morphed into what it is today. Christians aren't trying to manipulate anyone; they feel that any emotional appeals they make are serving the greater good of getting people saved from eternal fire. Their fear is motivating them to spread the fear, like some kind of whacked-out mental rabies. But that fear is often couched in love and community -- another layer that makes the idea of leaving seem dangerous, because you fear losing community. But that doesn't mean that being in that community isn't fun and enjoyable and supporting while you're inside. I have plenty of fond memories.

Unfortunately, the truth does not and should not depend on fond memories or how likable certain groups of people are. However, this is another thing that the Bible has twisted for Christians; there's definitely passages that encourage generosity and peacefulness and all these virtues for the purpose of guiding others into becoming Christians. I've had some people actually apologize to me for not being "good Christians", causing me to leave, but that's preposterous. The behavior of Christians has very little to do with their truth claims. Truth claims should be evaluated on their own merits, not because you like the people making the claims.

Reality check. If you're interested in more, try Stefan Molyneux's Parable of the Apple. I first read it when I was still a Christian, and I found it quite vitriolic and angry... but now I understand his frustration, why he feels cheated. On some level, I feel cheated too, even though I know it wasn't anyone's fault.

mna 7 q

-Forum quote: "you should subscribe to the forum to be able to receive email alerts"-

I had another of those lovely dreams where I dreamed about my job this week. Dear Brain, I do that during the day... experiencing it during the night as well is a little redundant.

I would write more today, but I just enjoyed the magical, once-a-year wonder that is Engineer's Feast, a time where I gorge myself silly on delicious food while wearing garb and hanging out with the other SCA nerds.

Reality check. I just woke up from an hour of "food coma".

nmq t 7t q

-Corcoran quote: "These babies feature a Poron cushioned insole that's specifically designed to absorb the blast from a hard landing."-

Most interesting dream this week, I was in some kind of war game. However, I think my brain got all confused and wasn't sure whether it was the kind where it happens in real life, but the guns are nonlethal, or whether it happens on a computer/console and they are. I don't think most airsoft scenarios feature real helicopters you can call in for backup.

First of all, happy Easter and happy belated Passover, Good Friday, etc.

Second, I know I teased you last week by saying that I was busy, but more details would follow about what was going on.

Essentially, I have awesome timing. By which I mean I have terrible timing. It so happens that last week, right before Palm Sunday, I came out as an atheist. Handling people's reactions is what has been keeping me busy (and somewhat stressed) since then.

For one thing, and I feel horrid saying this, but I'm starting to get annoyed when my Christian friends talk to me. I would like for them to be curious/supportive, but the most I can get out of them is an argument. Debate is fun and engaging and all that, but it's just a wee bit insulting when they bring out the same arguments I researched in making my decision. There's an implication that I became an atheist due to bad information or incomplete information, which would be quite idiotic on my part. I would have to be thoroughly insane to stop believing in God on a whim -- risking eternal damnation on scant evidence is beyond suicidal.

The reason I feel horrid about saying this, though, is because it's exactly how I would have responded before. I feel guilty for getting frustrated at them, you see, because they're exactly how I was, and I can still put myself in their shoes.

For another thing, it's surprisingly lonely from where I sit. My family, friends, most of the people I spend time with are all Evangelical Christians, and suddenly I have so little in common with them. It's no wonder, now, why some people hide, just keep going to church with a smile. I have revealed the change to some, but there are many, many more to go and I don't know what their reactions will be or how bad their reactions will be. I do know that it will likely fundamentally change my relationships with them, and I fear it will not be for the better.

However, I have to be honest, and I would rather be honest sooner than later. I will wait until the Easter frenzy has died down a bit to tell everyone else, though.

Reality check. In short, that's why I didn't write a post last week.

nmq t

-Zombie quote: "They just moan or run really fast."-

Winner of the Weird Dream of the Week Award: the one in which I somehow ended up in a polyandrous marriage.

As far as posting for today, I've had a bit of a tense week, so I'll fill you all in later.

Reality check.

q/ fqa q

-Nonsensically misspelled quote: "...hearing there voice?"-

Dream wasabi, as it turns out, is delicious. I ate it plain in one of my dreams this week, and I couldn't stop -- quite addicting.

Much to the smirkage of my female friends, I happened to watch the 2005 Pride & Prejudice movie several times this week. They probably don't buy my explanation, of course, but I suspect my underlying reason for doing so is because Mr. Darcy (an INTJ to end all INTJ's) is so like me. This is consistent with my discomfort at the gushily romantic scenes -- I demand authenticity in movies, and some of that was fanservice -- and my enjoyment of the more awkward scenes instead.

Or it could be that I just like laughing at people, period, and the only reason that I especially liked Pride & Prejudice is because they made fools of themselves in authentic ways.

Reality check. If there's one thing that makes a movie, it is actors that know that if they can move their eyes convincingly, they need not flap their tongue.

n nt a

-Pi quote: "11.00100100001111110110101010001000100001011010001100001000110100110001011000110011000101000101110000000110111000001110011010001001010010000001001001110000010001000101001100111110011000111010000000010000010111011111010100110001110110001001110011011001000100101000101001010000010000111100110001110001101000000010011011101111011111001010100011001101100111100110100111010010000110001101100110000001010110000101001101101..."-

I had an extremely vivid dream that I was raising some kind of wispy-winged grasshopper-like thing. I never had a pet as a child (still haven't had one) so animals, to me, are frightening little things that move around a lot. I can still remember the feel of that dream insect struggling against my hand. Wigs me out just thinking about it.

I had planned to fill this post with a glorious, epic-length blank verse poem, but then remembered that today was Pi Day! Happy Pi Day everyone!

Reality check. Everyone, that is, who writes their dates in MM/DD format, that is.

nd mq q ntd aad7t q

-Gmail quote: "Select: All, None, Read, Unread, Starred, Unstarred"-

I had a lot of particularly vivid dreams this week. I guess that's what happens when I make dreaming a priority again. Or it could just be that I had several late nights in a row followed by a few nights containing the proper amount of sleep, which would be similar to CAT. Unfortunately for you, my readers, they are all phenomenally boring when described in print (you know how sometimes you have a really vivid dream, then are all excited to tell someone, only to realize it was a vivid dream of eating cereal or something?). Probably the most interesting snippets to describe would be (1) the Tatewaki Kuno cameo -- I've obviously been watching too much Ranma 1/2 -- and (2) the dream where I ate a mint patty. As it turns out, in dreams, mint patties taste the way I always thought they SHOULD taste in real life, which is to say, delicious. I should try dream bacon sometime...

I still haven't had too many lucid dreams. I think my striving to attain lucidity is actually seeping backwards. Instead of going into dreams and realizing that they are not reality, I am going into reality and realizing how dreamlike it is. Probably the practitioners of dream yoga and the like would be pleased with this result, but I still would like to be able to control my dreams.

It's true there are those dreams (I had a lot of them this week) that are wild, spontaneous romps that my thinking mind couldn't possibly come up with on its own. But there are some dreams that are just heeking boring. It is those ones that I want to be able to change.

And oddly enough, they're the easiest ones for me to realize that I'm dreaming in -- my mind gets in the frame of reference of everyday life, which makes it easier to spot inconsistencies. When I'm on an adventure in a distant fantasy land, I forget my real self.

Reality check. Personally, I'd rather have adventures in distant fantasy lands than be mopping up Kool-Aid with my socks. Yes, my brain went to the trouble of dreaming that last night.

7 7 q

-Recipe quote: "lg. chunked"-

White maggot-like creatures were discovered on Mars, and one of them attached to my arm. I didn't think much of it, but later there was a stir because I had brought it out of the containment area. This was all, of course, a dream.

Not a dream is the stew that's finally ready to eat today. All of my previous attempts at the stuff have been horrendous, so I decided, this time, to actually get a recipe and follow it.

Only problem is, it smelled so delicious as it was stewing away in the slow cooker that I had trouble sleeping last night. I have yet to try it, but all indications are that this one will actually taste good.

Reality check. Num num.

amqa amqa

-Mental quote: "Do you know how to swing dance?"-

I had another dream within a dream this week, which is sort of halfway to lucid, I suppose. After all, I at least realized the subdream was a dream. The subdream in this case regarded my treasured eraser (of which I only use 2 corners for erasing, so the other corners stay pristine and fresh-looking) being sharpened, which involved cutting off the untouched side of the eraser. When I "woke up" from this dream, I told someone how mad that would make me if it actually happened.

Strange pastime: rephrasing everyday activities so they sound peculiar. Prime example: brushing one's teeth. Sure, we do this every day (I hope!) but if you stop to think about it...

Step 1. Procure a miniature brush with a disproportionately long handle.

Step 2. Squeeze pasty, mint-scented soap out of what looks like a frosting applicator and cover all the bristles of the brush with a gob of it.

Step 3. Use your soapy, miniature brush to lather up your teeth.

Step 4. You can't rinse off the soap, so spit out as much of it as you can into the sink.

Step 5. Shiny teeth.

Reality check. Don't touch my eraser.

t 7t

-Buzz quote: "I think God actually has a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial No Derivatives license on that one, but the method is sort of open source."-

The most exciting dream I had this week had me watering plants. So, um, yeah, it was a slow week.

Actually, not exactly. After all, the week began in the mountains waiting for a tow truck because the vehicle I was in tried to go down the mountainside (the trees lining the road had other ideas, much to the relief of everyone in the van).

I made it home safely, and proceeded to have a pretty normal week. Now I have a cold, however, so I think I'll just wish you all a happy Valentine's Day / Chinese New Year and leave it at that.

Reality check. Admittedly, I was watering plants in my old house, so that was slightly different.

7taad7t

-Email quote: "Depending on the financial institutions involved it can take up to 2 weeks before the payment is received."-

I managed to become lucid in another dream. Woo! Although I became so lucid that I actually couldn't think of anything really interesting to do except jump (it didn't become flying, I just floated slower on the descent) and roll around on the floor like a little kid. Funny how my "stupid brain" is much more creative in this regard; it can't tell I'm asleep but it sure as heek can make up adventures.

I'm noticing a trend in the dreams that become lucid. In nearly all of them, I am staring at a bathroom mirror. Now, I don't know whether this causes me to become lucid because I've done it before in the same location, or whether looking at myself makes me think more critically about reality (why?). In this particular case, I was looking at the mirror and there were nubs of metal embedded in it. Then I realized that I couldn't remember the nubs being installed, and it clicked for me.

But often, it's not even something concrete. I'll merely be looking in the mirror and realize that I'm dreaming for no one reason. The only thing is, I have to be looking at the mirror, not just in a room that contains a mirror in real life.

I do remember to do reality checks slightly more often around mirrors, but only in real life. I don't think I have ever become lucid by methodically setting out to do a reality check. The history continuity check that I did in this last dream wasn't about checking reality. It was just my brain wandering around, like it usually does, and happening to fall on that subject.

Perhaps all I have to do is question real life more -- not its reality, but just generally -- and I'll question reality more in dreams.

Reality check. And concentrate on rooms with mirrors.

at/q

-Creepy quote: "I am your neighbor; I can see you / I have these blinds that I peek through" (Neighbour, Mother Mother)-

As often happens, I had a succession of really strange dreams packed into one night this week. First, I was driving a walk-in closet around the bedroom. Yes, a walk-in closet. Then I had another dream where I was a gymnast (in case you're wondering: never gonna happen) doing an exhibition over a vat of lava. Being genre-saavy, I realized that since my team was the underdog, I was going to win spectacularly, so I added steps to my routine. The other team cheated anyway, they had this yellow paint on their costumes that was massively heat resistant -- one or two of them touched down on the lava without taking any damage. The medals for the event were made of painted wood and shaped like very large M&Ms.

At the risk of writing a downer post, I have decided (as of yesterday) that it is impossible to say that I have had a terrible day unless (1) someone dies or (2) the washing machine breaks mid-cycle, leaving me with a sopping mass of clothes and bedding which must now be hauled upstairs and washed in the bathtub, wrung out by hand, and run through two and a half dryer cycles to compensate for the fact that hand-wringing is nowhere near as effective as modern technology. Also, getting to bed 6 hours past my usual time because the bedding was taking so long to dry, finally stopping at the stage where the bedding is mostly dry but with a patch of dampness in the center.

I am fairly certain that someday I will avert nuclear holocaust by standing near the path of the bomb. When it gets within a certain distance of me and my Rays of Worldbreaking, the trigger mechanism will suddenly fail and the earth will be saved.

I'm sure I will then look back on these days with fondness. But for now, mysteriously damaging everything within a 2-foot radius of me (without even touching it, often) does get annoying.

Reality check. Fingers apparently count too.

7tqa

-Error quote: "The server encountered an internal error () that prevented it from fulfilling this request."-

In one of my dreams this week, I was not only getting a new car; I was getting a large sphere on which to drive it. No, I don't mean the earth. I mean a large, painted sphere that would apparently roll down the street underneath me. Only in dreams...

I think I will be mysterious today and advertise my clothing shop. The only catch? All you will get is tiny pictures of some of the products. It'll be your web game of the day.

Reality check. Hint: Try starting by figuring out the urls of the images.

nmqt7t

-Crazy quote: "The eyes of the flounder fish were relocated, why were yours relocated? Your opposite eyes were moved to 1 corner to overlay for single perspective, but that corrupts your Opposite Brain."-

Most interesting dream this week was the dream within a dream (pronounce like that guy in Princess Bride for full effect). I missed my flight, except I really didn't because 1) I was dreaming it and 2) I was dreaming that I was dreaming that.

Amusing pastime: finding the "personality disorders" you possess by the eminently scientific [that plinking sound you hear? Sarcasm dripping] method of online personality quizzes.

As it turns out, I'm mildly schizoid.

Reality check. At least I'm not Gene Ray.